31. Low Maintenance

I used to pride myself on being a low maintenance gal.

From bed to door, I could step in the shower and leave the house in less than 15 minutes. That didn’t mean that I could magically put on a face full of make up in that span of time, or knew the best way to wear my hair wet. I told myself that the extra fifteen minutes of sleep were worth it, and that I didn’t care what other people thought of me. I didn’t want to keep people waiting. I was easy-going. Low maintenance.

Maybe it’s the emergence of undereye circles, but now, I’m not quite the same person (most of the time; I still think the extra sleep is sometimes worth it).

I owe my roommate for this change of heart. She chooses her outfits with care, never leaves the house without eyeliner. She could run into her exes at any time without shame. It is all very intentional. And I am all about a life of intention. 

She helped me realize there’s nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. You should put your best face forward in clothes you love and feel good in. It shouldn’t be termed “high maintenance,” selfish, or superficial. I understand that we should all strive to live within our means (because credit card debt scares me more than this), but having polished nails and a good haircut should be considered good investments if the ROI is feeling great.

Talking about high/low maintenance always reminds me of this scene from When Harry Met Sally (above). Meg Ryan, as Sally: 

” Well, I just want it the way I want it. “

And that’s what it boils down to. 

There’s nothing wrong with sweatpants, hair tied, chilling with no makeup on (that’s when you’re the prettiest*).

Just make sure you give a damn about yourself. 

*I don’t think  Drake has ever actually seen a girl without makeup. 

31. Low Maintenance

18. Feminist Fridays

Just wanted to put this out there, as this resonates with me more than I care to admit.

Third-wave feminism and a look at two new books: 

Consider Spinster‘s concern with the way women melt into their relationships: “It wasn’t merely that my identity was constructed entirely out of my relationships with other people — my relationships were my identity. My relationships took the place of myself,” she writes. Anyone who has worked with younger women will tell you this mentality is neither unusual nor specific to Bolick’s milieu. Subsuming yourself in relationships, no matter how empowered you were raised to be, is a common affliction of growing up in patriarchy.

(so it’s not just me?)

“The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own,” wrote none other than Betty Friedan. The secret that Toni Morrison’s story reveals is that women, in fact, do better by their loved ones — whether in traditional, unorthodox, or unofficial arrangements —  when they buck the messaging and become their most fulfilled selves, refusing to be swallowed by relationships or reduced to them.

My feelings about (third-wave) feminism and how women should treat other women can be summed up by Amy Poehler,

“’Good for her! Not for me.’ That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me.”


18. Feminist Fridays