so this is the new year

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In less than 30 days, I will have been on this earth for 30 years. It’s a big number for me, and one that I’ve been self-indulgently thinking about a lot this past year (among many other things).

When do birthdays stop being fun?

I hope never.

My beautiful friend, who is a year younger than me, made herself a “30 things to do before I turn 30” list, and it’s inspired me to do the same. I realize I’ve given myself a lot less time, but 15 before 30 didn’t have quite the same ring to it.

The list started off ridiculously practical – a “to do” list of all the things I’ve been putting off for ages. But, they stand for all the ways I feel weighed down. If I’m going to be my best self in 2017, I figured I’d better start somewhere.

I wouldn’t say I’m a private person, but I am deeply self-conscious (is anyone surprised?). Even putting this list out into the world seems incredibly vulnerable, but I need you to keep me accountable. Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear, right? I am excited to write about my progress and fill in the infinite pages of this space again. Because I’ve missed it.

Last weekend, I spotted this on a Post-It stuck onto a classmate’s bathroom mirror. It was from a book I had read in college, and it’s something that’s stuck with me ever since. It’s always relevant, but seems so especially important to say right now:

“The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world.” – Paul Farmer

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so this is the new year

Three Things

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“You don’t need anybody’s permission to start living your dream; the only person’s permission you need is your own. It’s your decision to make, so stop outsourcing it to other people.”

– Ashley C. Ford

 
 
1. I didn’t even know who she was before this, but I’m really feeling Ashley C. Ford and everything she has to say in this interview.
 
“Say yes to yourself. The hardest thing to get over when you’re trying to live a dream is the possibility that you might fail or that it might not be for you. But the truth is, that’s not the worst thing in the world. If you fail or find out that you don’t like something, then you just got closer to finding out what you’re truly meant for.”
 
2. New favorite jewelry site with minimalist pieces that are ethically sourced and won’t break the bank. win win win!
 
3. A board game for my nerds.

 
 
Merry Almost Christmas, ya filthy animals.

 

 

(Photo from soko’s f/w lookbook)

Three Things

42. Podcasts

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I’m status post a 10 hour round trip solo road trip, and feel like it’s my duty to give a shout out to these podcast friends who kept me company along the way.

I lean toward podcasts that tell a story and really delve deep into someone’s life or teach me something new. Nobody wants to feel like they’re wasting their time when there is so much amazing content out there, whether it’s in the form of music, TV shows, podcasts, or audiobooks.

So to all the commuters, dishwashers, and dog-walkers, here’s a few that have helping me learn/laugh/think:
 


Warning: very NPR-heavy as their content and production is just so good. I swear they don’t pay me (because they have no money).

 

1. Invisibilia: Alright, alright. I was late joining the bandwagon, but it’s good for a reason. It is “a series about the invisible forces that shape human behavior.” My favorites were “Secret History of Thoughts” – the segment on “locked-in man,” and “How to Become Batman.”

2. Death, Sex, & Money: I just devoured these little 20 minute forays into other people’s lives. “A podcast about the big questions and hard choices that are often left out of polite conversation,” Highlights included, “Cheating Happens,” and the interview with Ken Jeong, who had the sweetest things to say about his wife.

3. Call Your Girlfriend: “A podcast for long distance besties everywhere,” Ann Friedman (of pie chart fame) and her bestie, Aminatou Sow, chat about smart girl things and help you realize it’s perfectly acceptable to talk about your period, diva cups, and the presidential debates all in one phone conversation.

4. Magic LessonsIn case you didn’t realize, Elizabeth Gilbert (my eat, pray, love hero) wrote a book expanding on her TED talk on creativity (I know you’re thinking, “real original!“). It might be a marketing scheme to sell more books, but if you’re like anyone I know and are made to create, it’s a wonderful listen.

5. This American Life: Because duh. And also because how much do I love Ira Glass.

6. Planet Money: Finance in general is a topic that both terrifies and fascinates me because I know so little about it. “Pay Patients, Save Money” was a really interesting take on one company’s approach to battling skyrocketing healthcare costs.

 

It’s not a definitive list, but it’s a good start, I think. My commute is 3x as long since I’ve moved, so please let me know if I’m missing out anything!
 
 
 


Photo: Woods Canyon Lake. I caught a fish.

42. Podcasts

21. Hodge-podge

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This is what today looks like:

Waking up early, and then sleeping in late.

Gratitude for having the time to read lengthy articles about medicine and a neurosurgeon’s account of his mistakes. My heart swelling with pride for all my primary care doctor friends.

“Our philosophy is that the primary-care physician and patient should become the hub of the entire health-care-delivery system,” Hernandez said. He viewed the primary-care doctor as a kind of contractor for patients, reining in pointless testing, procedures, and emergency-room visits, coördinating treatment, and helping to find specialists who practice thoughtfully and effectively.

“Do No Harm” is an act of atonement, an anatomy of error, and an attempt to answer, from the inside, a startling question: How can someone spend decades cutting into people’s brains and emerge whole?

Ear-marking recipes for butter chicken (or murgh makhani).

Reminiscing about my favorite place in Paris.

Pining after beautiful things I don’t need and are sold out.

Getting in that lesley fightmaster yoga.

Waiting for 5pm.
(Photo: Aziz Ansari as Tom Haverford in Parks and Rec. Because that face)

21. Hodge-podge